Well…it finally happened. I met one of Ab’s family members. Emily, Ab’s sister, came down for a 3-day visit in the middle of April. Em is married, works in an office, and lives in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. We were a little worried that 72 straight hours of partying outdoors might wear on her…but she seriously rose to the occasion. She may never drink or intentionally venture outside again, but we had SUCH a great time while she was here. Ab’s now making a full-court press to get her to move to Austin. Hopes are high.

In other family-related news, something Ab and I said recently seems to have spooked Ab’s mom. She took it upon herself to order us a “pepper spray blaster gun”. This thing actually somewhat resembles a gun. We just assembled it this morning, and we are eagerly anticipating our next early morning session…wherein we run under the cover of 5am darkness with what, to everyone else, will appear to be a weapon. Awesome. This should end well. The police aren’t huge fans of us to begin with…merely due to the fact that the parking laws in this town are outrageous… and we refuse to blindly follow such an egregious affront on our right to leave Court on the grassy area at Auditorium Shores. That’s an issue for another time…but seriously, at 4pm, the closest parking spot to Aud Shores is in San Antonio. Go ahead APD, keep putting boulders on the grassy parking area…Court’s gonna go all Dukes of Hazard on them one of these days (nevermind the fact that Court’s fog light “skirt” is currently secured to her body with cable ties and any sort of airborne shenanigans will surely lead to her immediate demise. She’s totally ready to go down in flames of glory. On the GRASSY side of the boulder blockade.) Alrighty then…WAY off topic. Anyways…

We finally got our air conditioning unit fixed last week. It’s been out of commission since the end of last summer. It should also be noted that it has been in the 90’s in Austin lately. For reasons unbeknownst to me, that heat did nothing to inspire Ab to call the repair people. Procrastination at its finest? I’m not convinced… as she was perfectly willing to go through the trouble of filling up ICE BAGS for us to sleep with so that we were sufficiently comfortable. So, so strange. Just another reason that I have Austin Boxer Rescue on speed dial…just in case.

We took a little field trip to Book People this afternoon so that we could buy another book on art collecting. Ab picked up a flier on the way inside…started reading it as we were walking into the building…and completely slammed face-first into a pillar in the doorway. The kind gentlemen working the front desk found this to be the most amusing thing they’ve ever seen. Psht. Ab recovered quickly and pointed out that this was a “stupid way to construct a building!!!”. I boxed the air a little bit in a show of solidarity. Dumb*ss pillars.

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday, so I’ll do something special for Ab. Last year I surprised her on Mother’s Day by bringing a baby lizard into the house. That’ll be a tough gift to top. I should start hunting this evening.

One last thing before I wrap up. Ab explained the events of Sunday night to me…and I just have one thought: I empathize with all the facebook/twitter/blog comments about “not celebrating death” under any circumstance. I understand that sentiment, I really do. However, Ab read a FOX Austin article to me this morning and it ends with this sentence:

“And then the man behind the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil died from an American bullet to his head.”

I will say this in my least celebratory voice: It is a DAMN. FINE. DAY. to be an American.

To SEAL Team Six (who, for no reason whatsoever, Ab envisions to be a compilation of the military’s hottest soldiers):  Thank you.  

Pancho the Pigbelly