Ab and I went camping in Pace Bend a few weekends ago.  We arrived at the park around 4pm, spent a few hours swimming, meeting other campers, and drinking. We then set up our tent, ate dinner…and  Ab read while I destroyed 200 sticks. “We” fell asleep around 10pm…or so one of us thought. Ab neglected to zip the flap all the way, so after she fell asleep, I slipped out and spent 2 hours doing the various things I do late at night, after drinking all afternoon. I hadn’t planned on getting caught, but I accidentally woke Ab up when I crawled back into the tent and laid my soaking wet head down on her stomach. Damn it. Completely forgot that I was wet. I used my old standby “I just went for a swim”, but the cover was blown the next morning when we went for a run, passed a campsite full of college kids (about half a mile away from our own site), and Ab heard them yell “Morning Pancho!”. She quickly deduced that they had read my name on my collar in the middle of the night as I made myself at home at their little keg party. I know she considered disciplining me…but it was fleeting as I gave her a look that said “we’ve partied together for 3 years. I’ve seen the aftermath of a full day at ACL. I’ve been to about 30 UT tailgates with you. I trust you are not even CONSIDERING yelling at me for a measly 2 hours of indiscretion”. That shut her up.

We also saw a jackalope. I realize that they are thought to be mythical creatures…regardless, we saw one on Sunday morning. We googled “jackalope” (which is how we know that it’s spelled ‘jackalope’ and not ‘jackelope’) when we got home and learned that they are supposed to have antelope horns. Ours did not have horns, per se….but the ears were no less than 3 feet long….and this thing was very powerful. It hopped/ran VERY quickly…and seemingly very forcefully.  So, perhaps it was not a jackalope…(no horns)…but it was some Texas-bred freak of nature. It was not a large rabbit, so please don’t even go there. This was something else. And it was undoubtedly carnivorous.  I’m not 100% sure that we’ll ever go to Pace Bend again.

So next Monday (the 23^rd) is my birthday. I will be 3….and then I will effectively stop aging and live for eternity. We are headed to the Lofty Dog on 2^nd street this week to pick out some presents.  We swung by there 2 weeks ago and I picked out a squeaky fish…or, more accurately, the most sensitive object on earth. If you merely walk past this toy, it squeaks. To all of Ab’s friends that have tried to talk to her on the phone while I’ve been squeaking the fish: don’t worry, we’ve decided to sell it to the military.  We feel that it was meant for higher purposes. (for example: perhaps MIA soldiers could use it to signal their location to the rest of their unit from miles away. Just a thought).

For our monthly dose of ridiculous news: it has been at least 100 degrees in Austin for about 10 straight days… so Ab has, once again,  become hell-bent on moving to Northern Canada. She plans on working with a wildlife rehabilitation center up there (of which we do not know the name/location yet…or even if one exists at all. Minor details…pft). To better position herself for this opportunity, she has started volunteering at the Texas Wildlife Rehab Center. Her 1^st day was last Wednesday and she bottle fed 5 baby squirrels.  Cool? Yes. BUT…this experience rocked our plans for the future a bit. Turns out…Ab thinks some baby animals are disgusting. 5-week old squirrel with fur, open eyes, and a long tail? Awesome. 1-week old squirrel with no hair, closed eyes, and pink leathery skin? Gross. Who the hell rescues these things?! Really? Someone runs/walks/whatevers past these things and thinks “Oh no! I can’t let that slimy, hairless, squirmy thing with no distinguishable eyes die!! Much less all 7 of them!!” Compassionate people are weird.

Well pups, that’s about it for now. If you’re free on Wednesday evening, we’ll be at Book People for our monthly book club. We only read/study books on science topics. Surprisingly, it is not the best place to find a date….but it is a guaranteed good time.  You should swing by.

Peace in the Middle East,

Panchito